Texts Between Captains
by NIGHTSHADOW33
Summary: These are some random crazy texts between two fictional captains. Other characters do pop up. pairings - Toshiro Hitsugaya and OC, Akon and OC. Contains some mature language and references. More detailed desription inside. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Texts between captains

My friend and I have had a running funny text streak. It's kind of hard to explain, but I'll try. My friend introduced me to bleach a while ago, let me borrow the books and discs etc. I like the topic a lot, as well as the Japanese theme. We started out calling each other the Japanese versions of our names. Then we decided to write a few stories based of bleach. We used our favourite characters and made a few, that are based off us. They are Yoake Hantā (me) and Chihiro Mitsubishi (my friend). They are both captains in the seireitei and have been for some time. We made it up as we went along, it starts with my friend apologising for whacking me during tennis.

These are the texts between us that started about 2 months ago messing around as the two characters. The spelling and grammar is wrong a lot, but we were texting and, in my case, not reading before sending. There are a few references to mature contents but nothing crazy. The language later on gets quite heated.

CM - Sorry

YH - You should be subordinate. Now paperwork time. NO interruptions...

CM - hey, im captain, i give the orders around here! You do the paperwork!

YH - no, im joined captain of 10, with my boyfriend toshi.

CM - yeah but still. Ive been captain for longer so i have more power. Anyway, youre disturbing me, go away or i'll pummel your ass into hell!

YH - I'm a child prodigy, like toshi. Young, but very very strong. He's ice, im fire, i'll whip your ass. Now, shut up. Paperwork time for the two of us.

CM - yes. Ok... im fire too...

YH - Grrrr. Now ahhh.

YH - Shhh, stupid phone!

CM - haha. Theres only one way to settle this and thats to fight fire with fire!

YH - Shhhhhh! Shut up! *evil glare* shut up. Do not disturb me!

CM - Soz guurly. We shall discuss this later when i whoop your asr

CM - *ass

YH - Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Grrrrr.

*!*

CM - Arg! I just want the internet so i can read all the chapters and catch up with you, and possibly overtake you, subbordinate!

YH - tit tut tit. Poor you. Maybe while im in Italy you can catch up...

CM - haha! Great plan!, subordinate.

YH - have you fothoten im a captain. With a very powerful boyfriend.

CM - im a captain too, with a very powerful zanpacto! And im much stronger than your boyfriend, so ne ne!

YH - my boyfriend and i share the rarest of bonds. I can fight with both his and my zanpacto and the other way round. 2 captain level child prodigys v you. Hmmm i win!

CM - NOOOOOO THATS NOT FAIR! I CHALLANGE YOU TO A GLAIRING CONTEST!

YH - thats why we are joined captains. And its as fair as life. That great ultra rare bond we share. Does a bit more than that but i wont make you jealous...

CM - whatevs... me and akon have a bond. A double bond! Teehee

YH - whats it do? I doubt it'd be what i got coz its ultra rare. Like 1 in 100,000,000.

CM - thats a big number! My zanpacto's shikai turns into a blade of fire, kinda like old man yama's, and the bankai is a giant female fire demon! And i control it using my body!

YH - My zanpacto is a fire blade and surrounding area on fire. Bankai is a loin with fire mane. Bankai with toshi is purple dragon frozen fire.

CM - frozen fire? I find it funny how we call him toshi, if we said that to his face he'd probably flip

YH - i call him toshi coz he's my boy. You, no, he would flip. Frozen fire. Its fire that burns cold... hard to explain over txt.

CM - yeah. Sorry Captain Hitsugaya, but you two should be more respectful to me too ya know. Respect your elders!

YH - *cough cough* im older than you! As is toshi.

CM - No. Im captain of squad 12, Chihiro Mitsubishi, and ive been captain for over 100 years so yeah!

YH - were only called child prodigys coz we started young. We've kept our youthful looks.

CM - yeah, so've i, thankfully. I don't want to look like a huge bag of raisins

YH - well, we both look teen ish. He's grown a few inches taller than me now. Frozen at the age of 18 in looks, but wisdom of a very long time...

CM - Me too. But my looks have been frozen at about 24

YH - oldy. Now where's that white head cold boy of mine?

CM - hey, im not old! Im only about 90 or 100 years older then you...

YH - you are an oldy!

CM - IM NOT OLD!

*!*

Hope you enjoyed that! There is more and if I get a few nice comments I will type and post them.

NS


	2. Chapter 2

Texts between captains 2

This continues on from before, we were talking before about school and it got onto this:

YH - General life, he is my boyfriend you know... hows Akon? Last i heard his captain pulled him in a room alone, came out red faced.

CM - hehe weeell, you'll have to find out wont you, and your lil toshi over there

YH - ain't you his captain? Captain to captain now, you like him, admit it. No holding back. Go for it. Tell him your feelings and pop the ring...

CM - whaaat? What are you on about?

YH - ahh, the joys of love. Your his captain. Tell him you love him and pop the ring out

CM - *sigh* Why me!? Captains aren't allowed to be in relationships... i'd probably be exhiled like my master kisuke urahara

YH - Are you forgetting im a capt. And toshi is too. We can be together so can you. I'll talk to the soultaicho. See what he says about it.

CM - ok. Thanks Captain Hantā.

YH - your welcome (whats your name?!)

CM - Chihiro Mitsubishi, duh!

YH - sorry Mitsubishi. I may require season 4 for the half term

CM - of course, Hantā

YH - now shh, bleach is on.

CM - you started it! I was watching bleach first!

YH - sh now Mitsubishi.

(later)

CM - young byakuya! He smiles! Oh, scratch that, yoruichi pisses him off now he's angry.

Baby shuhei (69 guy)! Aww, so cute!

YH - which season, sounds funny?

CM - you mean the season im watching?

YH - yeah! Yoroichi is a princess!?

CM - yoroichi is the princess of the shihoin clan, one of the four noble clans, and she's the captain of squad 2. Season 10

YH - can i have season 4 for ½ term?

CM - sure

YH - thanks

CM - aww lil shuhei's crying.

- Baby Akon! Aww! So cuuute!

YH - toshi?

CM - no. They're talking about when kisuke urahara was a captain. Toshi is probably not even in the soul reaper academy yet.

- Toshi does appear in the illustrated guide to soul reapers. But all he says is "RANGIKU!"

Got kicked out

YH - haha! I'm still watching tv. 1 disc of season 3 left. Toshi is happy and smiling. He hasn't seen his paperwork pile yet. Might go ape...

CM - might? He willdefinately go ape! At rangiku! Then again, i suppose you could calm him down couldn't you?

YH - yeah, might getbrangiku in first with a warning. Keep toshi busy til she's donenat leastnsome then help him do the rest and if he goes ape i have an idea...

CM - serenading him? To bed!?

YH - whatanading him? Why would i take him to bed! What would i do there to calm him?

CM - serenading him. Playfully tease him, like couples do... ya know. And what they generally do in bed. You are a couple right?

YH - yeah, but please, i don't stick my hand in his pants like that! Teasing but none of that stuff in bed! Do you do it with akon? The idea of ... uch!

CM - yes i do. Because im not like you and we are a couple... i really don't understand whats so wrong about it...

YH - ok, snapping out of that stuff now, you go to bed and imagine him there making ouy with you!? You need to speak to someone!

CM - if we love each other, we want to show we do, ya know. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.

-lots of people do it!

YH - horrible images in my head now! Yuch! I know its normal... but your 14! Its not even legal for you yet.

CM - so.. stop being so fussy. Im obviously gonna wait until i am old enough.

YH - still the idea...

CM - oh my gaaad! Get over it!

YH - i'll leave you to your wet dreams... i talked to old man yama earlier, he's ok with you and akon as 1 as long as your capt. duties aren't affected.

CM - they wont be. i don't want children anyway. And they are NOT WET DREAMS! ITS NOT LIKE IM A BOY OR ANYTHING!

YH - girls get em to ya know... you'd better invite me to the wedding when it comes along, maybe ill become a godmother to the first kid that pops out...

CM - we want to keep it quiet. So only you and head-captain will know. And me and akon obviously... and i cant have children!

YH - oh, why? No little horn headed kids running about?

CM - no. And thats very insulting!

YH - i thought it more .. funny. They'd look cute! Little Akon/chihiro kids messing about...

CM - i guess... but not gonna happen.

YH - oww. Why though?

CM - her womb got too damaged by fighting... she had to get it removed... upsetting.

YH - owch.

CM - yeah. It also means she cant have a period, which she doesn't mind as much.

YH - shinagami don't have periods, do they?! Toshi is wondering why im on this world of the living device so much!

CM - erm. I don't know. Probably not. Tell him youre talking to me. And im sorry that im distracting you from him.

YH - hes jealous coz i told him its a comm. Device. Talking to someone other than him... the cold boy don't like it..

CM - stop teasing him, Yoake! Not like that anyway...

YH - aw, your protective of him! Should i let akon hear of this flirting...!

CM - no. I was only saying it like it is. And how am i flirting with him!?

YH - read between the lines misubishi. Theres a lot written in tichy txt

CM - ok whatever. I am not flirting with your boyfriend. I am flirting with my boyfriend... i will ask him if we can get married. You and toshi gonna get married?

YH - bit sudden. We have been together a while but not long enough to pop the ring and ill wait for him to ask me, not me ask him. Very into tradition.

CM - of course. Itll probably just be you, toshi, akon , me at our wedding.

YH - momo will be there for toshi if (and when) we get the curch bells going. And it'll be in the world of the living most likely. Go to paris, city of love...

CM - haha, yeah. Don't forget to invite me!

Well, there's still more where that came from, another few weeks worth. Good, nice comments = more chapters and a happy me!

NS


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